Dare to Breathe
by Azfixiation
Summary: ShizNat. Oneshot. Can Natsuki stop being afraid and let Shizuru in? ...I hate summaries.


A/N - Woo! I guess I'm back. Gosh. Thanks for all the amazing responses to _Come On_. Hopefully this one won't disappoint either. I love all your positive comments, so keep them coming and maybe I'll stick around for a while again. Hehe.

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**Dare To Breathe**

By: Azfixiation

People think I'm cold, but they don't know anything about me. I wonder if they knew that I spent my days and nights alone searching to find the truth of my past, of my family, if they would still think I was tough. Would they laugh if they realized I was only a scarred fragment of a human? Would anyone ever be able to truly care about someone who is so hung up on her past she doesn't care about the future?

_But you care, don't you?_

My chest aches when I think about her. Everything within me tightens until I can't breathe. Unconsciously my hand rises over my heart, but the gentle motion is unbearable. My fingers curl, clenching into a fist, and my hand shoots out at the wall in front of me.

_Shizuru… don't leave me behind. Please. If you love me like you say, don't leave me. _

Eventually I gain control over myself, the ache in my chest easing enough so that my breathing can once again relax. This is too hard. I thought it would make me happy. I thought it would be enough, just to have one night with her. Just one night to remember before you go to your new life at college.

_I want you to force it out of me, Shizuru. Tell me you don't care that I'm broken. Tell me I won't ruin your life chasing after the past, overlooking you when I get too caught up in myself. I won't let myself hurt you like that again. _

"Natsuki…" her gentle voice whispers from across the room.

"Hey sorry, was just using the bathroom," I say as I put on a grin, walking back over to my messy bed where she lays. And everyone thinks Shizuru is the God of masking her emotions.

"Good. Natsuki promised to hold me close all night," she says as she pulls me back into bed with her. I allow her to lay her head on my chest as she nuzzles into me. Her hand reaches up to stroke my face, and I know she can feel the damp skin where the tears were just falling. "I won't go if you wish for me to stay, Natsuki."

"Shizuru…" the words catch in my throat. "Why am I so stubborn?" I ask in defeat as she pulls me closer. "I love you so much…"

"Then why are you letting me leave?" she asks softly, trying to find the strength to reassure me while I break her heart. "Don't you know that I want nothing more than to stay like this? Every night with my Natsuki. Is this pain worth it?"

"I don't know Shizuru. We're… I'm fucked up. I'm broken. You're broken. Can we really be any good for each other like this?"

I watch as she props herself up on her elbows to look at me in the faint light. "Why haven't you ever kissed me?" she asks, and somehow I find myself burning with embarrassment.

"Wh… What does that have to do with anything!" I shout, turning my eyes away from her.

"If Natsuki loves me as she says, she should kiss me," she teases, making me completely forget the seriousness of our conversation. Her fingers lace in my hair as she moves closer to me. I feel her soft skin on the back of my neck, her fingers coaxing me into a response.

My head arches slightly, our lips brushing together for the first time. The ache in my chest returns, but finally it bursts, exploding at a furious pace as I feel her whole body relaxing against mine. I pull her closer, suddenly needing more of her, as if I would lose all the air in my lungs if we broke contact.

"Ask me to stay," she says. Her lips tremble against mine, knowing that this is the answer that will decide our fate.

"What if I hurt you, Shizuru?" I reply, my mouth dipping down to the soft skin of her neck.

"Then I will forgive you," she says with a small chuckle, as if this is something I should have always known.

Then I feel her take my cheeks in her hands, tilting my face upwards to meet hers. Even in the dark our eyes meet, and just like everytime the electricity between us makes my body quake. "Shizuru..." I choke out once more, the tension between us becoming overwhelming.

"Please Natsuki. Let me in. Let me stay with you," she pleads, her eyes locked tight with mine, relentless and unforgiving.

Try as I might, the words won't come out as I look into her eyes. There is nothing but love evident in them and I know that if I let her go it will be the biggest mistake of my life. "Stay, Shizuru. Stay," I say finally, breaking the trance her gaze has put me into.

I bury my face in her neck as we hold onto each other tightly. Her fingers run through my hair as her cheek rests atop my head. "I will always stay by my Natsuki's side." It's true. I know it. I can hear it in that sweet Kyoto-ben voice of hers.

Finally we settle back into bed, the pain eased from our minds. She holds on tighter than before, and lazily I run my hand along her back. "I love you, Shizuru." It is stern, with a hint of finality. I need her to know, to really believe in me.

"I love you too," she responds. "However, now that I am staying with my Natsuki, I believe you will have to start giving me more kisses."

"O..Oi!" I stammer, the heat returning to my cheeks.

"Ara, you are just so easy to tease Natsuki," she laughs. Her head tilts up as she places the gentlest of kisses on my neck.

"I hate you," I mumble as I close my eyes. The emotional exhaustion finally taking its toll on me.

"But you just said you loved me. Which is it?" Her gentle kisses turn into more as I feel her teeth nipping at my skin.

"Sh... Shizuru!" I push her away from me, but she latches onto my arm and pulls it around her waist so that I am spooning her.

I feel her body relax against mine, and smile as I rest my cheek against her back. I want to hold her like this always. Before sleep finally claims me, there is only one thing on my mind.

_Maybe my future is finally looking better than my past. _


End file.
